This past week I received feedback on a project. The person giving the feedback was straightforward – “this isn’t really what we’re looking for” – and offered some thoughts on how I might shift my perspective. Then he welcomed me to contact him with my revisions so that we could talk further.

What a gift.

No one really likes criticism, but it’s often necessary to get honest input in order to grow. And after so many Sundays of well-intended worshipers saying simply “Nice service” or “I enjoyed your message” at the sanctuary door, it was refreshing to get some pointers about specific growing edges.

Still, when someone gives that elusive constructive criticism, it can be hard to hear. Here are a few questions that might make it easier to take to heart:

Is this person right? Sometimes we know in the moment that our critic has hit the nail on the head.

Does this person have experience or expertise that makes their perspective valuable? It would be unwise to ignore valuable advice from someone in the know.

What stake does this person have in my success? If the critic is either completely objective or had to work up the courage to deliver a hard word, the criticism is worth considering.

What will I do with this feedback? If I choose to act on it, I need to think about what my first steps will be and what needs to be bracketed for later.

How will I stay engaged with my critic? If the feedback is helpful, the relationship is worth pursuing.

(For what it’s worth, I revised my project prospectus and got a green light.)

Ahhh, sabbatical. A time of rest, renewal, and reflection away from the usual pulls of congregational ministry. In many denominations and churches, clergy are eligible for multi-month sabbaticals after a certain period of service (usually five, seven, or ten years).

Some of us will never get there.

In my case, I’ll likely never serve in one place long enough to reach the sabbatical threshold. (Such is one of the downsides of a passion for interim ministry.) Even those who are serve in settled ministry are often called away before they hit the magic number of years, whether because other congregations match their gifts more closely or because conflict in the here and now has taken its toll. So what are the short-timers to do?

I suggest we make our own mini-sabbaticals.

There are a couple of ways to go about this. The more flexible route is to leave ample space between calls and be intentional about how that time is spent. This assumes, however, that the minister is in no hurry for a paycheck at the new gig. (I know, I know.)

The other way is to get creative with vacation and professional development allotments. The whole point of a sabbatical is to take more than the average week away so that the pastor can unplug from the congregation, reconnect with God, and recharge passion for ministry. So consider the setting, the tools, the companionship, and the time you’d need to meet these aims. Then ask colleagues and scour the web for recommendations about locations, mentors, and maybe even short-term courses that would fit the focus of your time away. Take a look at your personal and church budgets to see what financial resources are available to you. Then consult the calendar, identifying seasons when you could string together a few weeks of study leave, vacation, and maybe even a denominational gathering.

When a minister takes an official sabbatical, it’s a good idea for him/her to prepare the congregation a long time in advance, letting church folks know the purpose behind the time away, getting them excited about how your sabbatical will benefit them, and filling them in on the plan for pastoral coverage. You might consider doing the same for an unofficial mini-sabbatical. Obtaining the congregation’s support for your rest and renewal will ease your mind while you’re gone, help your members take ownership of ministry during the gap, and give them the sense that you care enough about them to do the things that cultivate longevity in your position.

In seminary I searched for my denominational identity. I had always been a Baptist, but that label came with a lot of baggage. I tried on a few other denominations that first year, but none of them really fit. It was only when I attended a local congregation’s Bible study on Baptist distinctives that I realized I was – am – in fact a proud Baptist.

The struggle then was being a future-oriented Baptist in the south, where many of my progressive peers were expending a lot of energy mourning a pre-fundamentalist Southern Baptist Convention that I had never known. I tried to understand their pain, but it was tough. There was no pendulum swing coming in the SBC, and new networks were emerging for centrist and left-leaning Baptists. There was clearly a new normal at play, one that I was enthusiastic about.

I heard echoes of my experience in this blog post by a new(ish)comer to the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ), which gathered in Ohio last week. (Discipledom is my second home these days.) Sara Fisher writes this about the passion and faithfulness she witnessed at her first General Assembly, even as longtime Disciples grieved the shrinking attendance:

“As a new-ish Disciple, this IS normal….This is what I signed up for.”

Yes, newbies need to be historically aware and sensitive to those who see demise where we see life. But as long as people are joining us and saying, this IS what I signed up for, the church has a future. May those with institutional memory allow the whippersnappers to infuse some energy into the system, and may we young’uns remember that the long-timers still have vast knowledge and needed leadership to offer.

A couple of weeks ago I attended The Young Clergy Women Project conference in Austin, Texas. I have gone to seven TYCWP conferences primarily for the fellowship, but the content is invariably excellent as well. Led by Dr. Margaret Aymer, this year’s plenaries focused on how to design a Bible study that emerges from the questions of the community.

The first step in the process is to gather some of the community’s leaders and ask them to name the most pressing issues facing the community. This group then brainstorms some passages of scripture that could potentially speak to the selected issue and chooses one to study.

The Bible study facilitator then takes the passage and creates discussion questions about it with the issue in mind. The questions attempt to draw out and privilege the wisdom in the room. They address such angles as:

• what the scripture passage is about

• who’s in the passage and what they’re doing

• what the context (historical, narrative, etc.) is in relation to the selected issue

• how the passage speaks to the issue and the community’s context

The Bible study is not just an academic exercise, however. It ends by asking, “Now what are we going to do about the issue at hand, given our discussion of this passage?” The students name possible actions and choose an easily doable one to tackle.

The contextual Bible study would be an effective approach in any situation, but I believe it would be especially helpful in situations of conflict and/or transition. If you’d like a fuller explanation of this method, the Ujamaa Centre for Community Development and Research has a manual here.

Have you ever started a day or week with a short to-do list, only to find that you are soon swallowed up by requests and minutiae?

Time abhors a vacuum.

So, what’s a minister to do when so much of her work is about being available to others and taking care of those details that no one else knows about but that make the ministry run smoothly?

Make the calendar your friend. Schedule blocks for sermon prep, curriculum writing, big picture planning, visitation, open office hours, and even self-care (afternoon Dunkin Donuts run, anyone?) just like you do for committee meetings. And just like with committee meetings, you can push your plans aside if a truly pressing pastoral need arises. Otherwise, feel free to say, “I’m sorry, I can’t do such-and-such right now. I have an appointment.” Because you do.

If we don’t block out time for visioning and self-care, those two things are almost always first on the to-do list chopping block. Yet those are perhaps the two most critical pieces of longevity in ministry.

Happy calendaring!

There are times when every minister feels stuck, helpless, or ineffective in his/her ministry setting, particularly if that setting is experiencing unhealth. One of the keys to regaining hope and refocusing on the ministry at hand is to determine what kinds of power or agency you do in fact have. Hint: there may be some types that aren’t immediately obvious!

Relationships/partnerships (inside and outside setting)

• Position/roles (formal and informal)

• Talents/expertise (ministry-related and not)

• Assets (budget, facilities, other tangible resources)

• Teaching tools (curricula and other springboards for discussion/study)

• Other

Once you have named the avenues of agency you have, how will you utilize them? What power do others who share your vision for ministry have, and how can you leverage this combined power for forward movement?

I ran across a great tool for intentional interim ministers leading congregations through the heritage focus point. My husband’s church is undergoing a visioning/renewal process, and the leadership team for this process was asked to create an Ebenezer.

Ebenezer literally means “stone of help,” and it refers to Samuel’s placement of a marker that witnessed to God’s faithfulness (I Samuel 7:12). It signified the Israelites’ recognition of God’s constant presence with them up until the Ebenezer’s dedication. It was a visual reminder that the Israelites were purposefully entering a new era in their relationship with God.

In the heritage focus point, a congregation in transition acknowledges, celebrates, and grieves its history up until the current moment. Churches cannot move forward without first looking backward, noting where God has been at work all along and bringing closure to old hurts. After an intentional interim minister and transition team lead the congregation through their exercises of choice to accomplish these goals, I can see where it would be healing and hopeful for everyone to work together on creating an Ebenezer. Such a visual would mark the move from hindsight to foresight, and it could be incorporated into liturgical design or placed in a high-traffic area of the church as a sign that the always-faithful God is about to do a new thing.

In improvisation the rule is always to say “yes, and” to your fellow actor. In other words, take what that person gives you, however bizarre, and build on it.

In our everyday, walking-around lives, there are occasions when we have to say “but” or “no.” We bracket our yesses when a toddler is about to lurch onto a busy street, for example, or when a perpetrator does unspeakable harm to a victim.

But I think that in general, the “yes, and” guideline is a helpful one. It notes an understanding of current circumstances and a willingness to move forward in light of them. It signifies that we can make choices and build relationships that add value to our lives and the lives of others.

Saying “yes” is inclusive. It calls for flexibility. It is hopeful without being naïve. It also forces us to consider how we might become more versatile, dancing in the moment, however messy that moment is.

The “and,” though, is the real key. It is the difference between mere people-pleasing and maintaining a non-anxious presence in the face of challenges. The “and” is a mark of creativity rather than reactivity.

May we focus on the yesses being offered to us in this complicated time, and may we then use our gifts and passions to influence the arc of humankind for the better.

At my denominational meeting last week, I co-led a workshop on creating networks of care. Below are some of the notes for my piece of the workshop, which focused on finding non-peer professional support. (Note that my section followed a discussion of the value of peer learning groups.)

What are the benefits of non-peer professional support?

• Non-peer professionals come with particular expertise and credentials. They are also often able to be more objective about your situation and needs than peers.

• Professionals are generally bound by confidentiality clauses in the professional-client covenant and in the ethical codes of their disciplines, thus creating a safe environment for you to share freely.

What are the biggest differences between a coach, spiritual director, and therapist/counselor?

• Coach: Coaches concentrate on forward movement from the present, helping the coachee name particular action steps toward reaching goals. The coach believes that the coachee is the expert on his/her situation, and the coach asks focused questions to draw out inherent wisdom and new awareness in the coachee. The coachee sets the agenda, meaning the coach asks questions that help the coachee reach her/his stated goal.

• Spiritual director: Spiritual directors help clients pay attention and respond to where God is at work, letting go of whatever is in God’s way. Spiritual direction’s main emphasis is growth in relationship with divine. The spiritual director’s primary tools are study, narrative, questions that prompt reflection on the spiritual life, and spiritual disciplines.

• Therapist/counselor: Therapists assist clients in healing from past events and learning how to move forward in light of them. Therapy uses narrative, problem-solving, and various exercises to help the client find health.

Each of these fields has nuances, and many ministers engage more than one of them. The different approaches often complement one another.

Where would a minister look for one of these professionals?

• Ask for referrals from ministerial colleagues and/or denominational staff.

• Additionally, if you’re looking specifically for one of these professionals:

  • Coaches: Check with coach accrediting bodies, seminaries, and parachurch organizations.

  • Spiritual directors: Look for spiritual direction accrediting bodies and retreat centers.

  • Therapists/counselors: Contact nearby pastoral counselor centers, your insurance provider, or your physician.

How does a minister determine a good match with a professional?

• Comfortable talking with the professional

• Clear about nature and goals of relationship

• Confident in professional’s skills, willingness to listen, and commitment to confidentiality

• Sense support and/or progress in the issues raised

Don’t hesitate to end a relationship if you and the professional are not a good match!

How does a minister pay for this professional support?

• Check on insurance coverage for counselors/therapists.

• Use professional expenses as appropriate. (Check with your ministry setting or a tax professional if you have questions about appropriate uses of funds.)

I recently wrote a post with some thoughts about starting a new ministry position well. Though I didn’t name preaching specifically, a thoughtfully-considered first sermon is an important piece of a fast start for pulpit ministers.

I heard an example of a great first sermon a couple of weeks ago. (Brag alert: it was delivered by my husband in his new appointment.) Matt started by outlining the different schools of thought about how to approach a first sermon, then told a humorous anecdote about each of his previous first sermons. These stories humanized him and gave his new congregation a sense of his growth as a preacher. They also showed his parishioners that they are meeting up with him mid-ministry. Matt then pointed out that he is joining this church’s narrative – already in progress – and that together they are all locating themselves along the arc of God’s relationship with humankind. Matt gave his hearers the charge to grab different threads of the story of God’s work among us and weave them more tightly into the trajectory of the kingdom, making the fabric stronger and more functional in the process. It was a great way to acknowledge the linking of a pastor’s ministry and a congregation’s mission while honoring all the history that each side brings to the relationship. This kind of sermon takes experience and a strong pastoral identity to preach, and it struck me as very effective.

I’m not often a good (traditional) pastor’s wife, but I certainly was a proud one that day!

Last week well-known Christian author Anne Lamott caught a lot of flak for her tweets about Caitlyn Jenner, many of which were deemed insensitive by transgendered people and their allies. In response, writer Jonathan Merritt called for grace, noting that many of us are just now learning about transgender issues: “…[W]hen people with limited knowledge begin to engage complex issues, those people often misspeak and

All of us have blind spots about other people’s experiences. I am a straight, white, cisgender, middle-class, Christian, American female. I can know and speak with certainty only out of the overlap of those categories. To know about the privileges and concerns of people from different intersections, I have to be willing to learn, and the experts on those intersections – i.e., the people who live in them – have to be willing to teach me.

How, then, do I deal on a practical level with my gaps in understanding?

Acknowledge having blind spots. There’s plenty I don’t know, and sometimes I don’t even know what I don’t know.

Look for conversation partners. Who will take the risk of sharing truthfully with me about their struggles? It’s important to seek out these generous souls without shifting the onus of the work - which is rightfully mine - to them.

Refrain from arguing with someone else’s experiences. They were there. They have lived this. I was not and have not.

Ask for feedback. Whose perspective(s) am I still overlooking? What language should I be using?

Let the dialogue change me…and my ways of doing and being. Now that I have this knowledge, there are realities that I can no longer ignore. So what now?

No one wants to be told that their understanding is deficient and that their comforts come at the expense of another. But the hard work of knowing and being known by others pries ever more open the curtain between this world and the one to come.

You jingle your new keys as you look for the one that fits the lock. You open your office door and find (ideally) a clean desk and a few neatly-arranged office supplies. You adjust the height on your desk chair and turn on your computer.

Now what?

It’s your first day in your new ministry. There are only possibilities before you, and there are no crises yet to direct your day. So…where do you begin?

Maybe the better question is not now what, but now who? Ministry is relational work, so whom do you need to reach out to first? Consider not just formal church and community leadership, but also other influencers (e.g., “gatekeepers”). Find out about these folks and their passions. Tell them yours. Let them fill you in about potential landmines and unwritten expectations the church has of you.

What preparations and processes is the church actively engaged in? Is your congregation getting ready for Vacation Bible School? Hitting the lull after the initial excitement of a capital campaign? Dealing with a difficult staff departure? It’s important to know your role in these situations, if any.

How will you build a relationship with the congregation as a whole? How will you use your public forum and individual interactions to know and be known by your people? It’s easier to work toward a shared mission with people you know.

What expectations do you want to set? What will your weekly work pattern be? What boundaries will you be instituting regarding personal/family time? How will you handle complaints? The easiest time to set expectations is at the beginning of your tenure. Communicate them well and maintain them as consistently as possible.

What would be some good early wins, and how will you go about getting them? What gift has the last minister left you in terms of a quick victory? Take advantage – doing so will bank some goodwill and extend your honeymoon period.

What support or resources do you need? You don’t have to do it all on your own time and dime. You may be the leader, but you and your congregation are all in this ministry together.

And…don’t forget to have fun in your new role! Ministry is a serious calling, but the work of the ministry doesn’t always have to be serious – and neither does the minister.

One of the most crucial jobs of a pastor is setting the tone for the ministry he/she will do alongside the congregation: how will we work together toward God’s vision for this church? Two aspects of this task are preparation and self-management.

A minister can prepare perfectly, but if she/he fails to manage her/his own anxiety, things can go off the rails quickly. Conversations take a negative turn, committees get mired in minutiae, and processes get abandoned. Here are a few thoughts, then, on self-management:

Wring out your anxiety sponge on a regular basis. Make the calendar your friend by scheduling self-care appointments (for example, coffee with a friend or a massage). Celebrate affirmations and progress, however small. Find joy or humor somewhere…anywhere.

Humanize the “other.” If you are running up against a particularly prickly personality or faction, pray for him/her/them. Say to that person’s directory photo, “you are a child of God.” (Cheesy? Yes. But a helpful exercise – sort of the reverse of putting someone’s face on a dartboard.) Engage difficult people rather than avoiding them, seeking to understand them and channel their passions productively.

Create and lean on a network of partners. We all need commiseration partners, those folks who affirm that we are not crazy or wrong. Commiseration partners could be colleagues who receive venting and respond in a professional way as well as good friends and family members who only half-jokingly offer to punch that nemesis in the throat on your behalf. But there are also:

• Prayer partners – those who pray with and for us.

• Common goal partners within the congregation – laypeople who are allies in the ministry at hand.

• Staff, deacons, or other lay leaders who can be trusted implicitly – voices that can assess the situation from the inside and help with informed decisions.

• Reality check partners – anyone willing to say “I hear you, now what will you do about it?”

• Professional support – therapist, spiritual director, coach, etc.

Ministers who engage in solid preparation and good self-management model those practices for others, paving the way for mutual trust and respect and progress toward God’s mission fulfilled.

One of the most crucial jobs of a pastor is setting the tone for the ministry he/she will do alongside the congregation: how will we work together toward God’s vision for this church? Two aspects of this task are preparation and self-management.

A minister’s preparation eliminates as many unpleasant surprises and as much negativity as possible on the front end of conversations, committee meetings, and processes, while still leaving room for the Holy Spirit to work. This groundwork includes:

Doing your homework. What details do you need going in? Where can you find them?

Getting the right people in the room. Who should be involved so that key people know what is happening, there is buy-in, and tasks can be claimed by the people who have the skills and passion to carry them out?

Making the physical space work for you. How can the room be better arranged to help you accomplish your objectives? What visual or auditory cues will be conducive to your aims?

Having a sense of your trajectory. What process will you follow? What’s the timeline? How will you stay on track when a distraction or tangent pops up?

Following through. What steps will you take to assist people in honoring their commitments? How will you ask your church members to hold you accountable?

Above all, preparation involves communication with God – speaking and listening – through whatever spiritual discipline best suits your personality, learning style, and faith history. You are working on God’s behalf. Let God empower and guide you.

It’s my last day at my current congregation. If I had my way, I would leave my keys on the desk and sneak out the back door. Not because I don’t love my co-workers and church members, mind you, but because I do. Saying goodbye to people you care about is hard, especially if you’re an extreme introvert.

But, I firmly believe that how a minister ends her time in a position is at least as important as how she begins it. So here are the things I’ve been mulling the past few weeks:

Which relationships need closure? Not all of the relationships I’ve formed in this church will end when I put that last box of books in the car, but all of them will change. How do I mark this evolution with intentionality?

What loose ends need tying up? I don’t want to leave messes for my colleagues to clean up. They have enough on their plates with the transition.

How do I prepare the way for my successor? This is tricky in my case because no one has been hired yet. Generally, though, I want to file enough information to help the next person hit the ground running and avoid landmines. I don’t want to define his/her relationships with church folk, though, by giving too many details about personalities. I also want to leave the physical work space decluttered, Pledged, and vacuumed.

If I say my goodbyes and do my homework well, not only will I feel more settled, the minister who follows me will be better able to establish trust and get into the nitty-gritty of ministry quickly.

In every new call there are landmines that must be sussed out and avoided, at least in the early days. You’ve got to figure out what topics can’t be discussed without hushed tones, what habit the last pastor had that drove everyone crazy, whose blessing is needed to launch a new initiative. Early wins + landmines avoided = longer honeymoon period for church and minister.

And then there are sacred cows. These are the preferences and rituals that church folk sometimes seem to love more than Jesus himself, bless their hearts. Every church has them, and they are the stiflers of new leadership, new ideas, and new life. They trap congregations in permanent maintenance mode.

In his article “Eight Common Characteristics of Successful Church Revitalizations,” Thom Rainer emphasizes the importance of taking on those sacred cows. He notes that one church listed all of its ministries and labeled them as biblically essential, contextual, and traditional. In other words, where in scripture do you find a directive for this ministry? If it’s not in the Bible, do we hold onto this ministry because it serves our community well or because we have “always” done it?

I think this kind of parsing – done by leadership teams or by the congregation as a whole – could be very eye-opening. “Why do we do what we do?” leads into “Is it helping us accomplish our God-given mission now, and if not, where would our efforts and resources be better spent?”

Ministers cannot tackle sacred cows alone. They must help the congregation come to its own realization that it is a new day with new needs.

Moving is a hassle with a capital H. I hate the packing and cleaning on one end, only to clean and unpack on the other. Very few ministers (or people of any vocation) stay in one place their entire career, though, so moving is pretty much inevitable. Why not try to put lipstick on that pig, then?

Nostalgia. When was the last time you went through your old yearbooks and mementos, as packing prompts you to do? Maybe it was when you were preparing to move to your current location.

Purging. Stuff tends to accumulate faster than we can give it away. Moving forces some tough but liberating choices.

Moolah. All that unwanted stuff? Yard sale or Craigslist it. Or give it to a charitable organization to give away or sell.

Appreciation. Paring down what we have tends to help us remember what we really need and how lucky we are.

Mental and emotional transition time. Has the impending reality of your next phase not yet sunk in? Pack a few boxes and then see where you stand.

Potential. Nothing says “clean slate” like a completely empty house or apartment, just waiting for your homey touch.

May your moves be few, and may they be to places full of possibility.

Church strategic plans – in the traditional sense – are tricky. They require congregations to predict cultural shifts, the economic fortunes of the surrounding community, and technological innovations (including social media) for the next five to ten years. In other words, they can quickly become outdated.

There’s a better way. Following the lead of some uber-productive businesses, some congregations and denominations are visioning in one-year chunks. (I know, I know. I generally don’t like the thought of patterning ministry after business, but in this case I’ve found it’s helpful.) Yes, the church still has to have a larger understanding of its purpose for longer-term needs like facilities and staffing, but these single-year processes make sure that specific projects are fresh, meet the current needs of neighbors, and utilize assets to their fullest.

The Cooperative Baptist Fellowship’s Dawnings initiative, for example, teaches spiritual practices to a congregation’s leadership team and guides the team in using those practices to discern God’s mission for this church in this time. The arc of Dawnings goes something like this:

• How do we attune ourselves to perceive God?

• Now that we’re better able to pay attention, what work does God have in mind for this church to do in the community in the coming year?

• What resources do we already have toward these ends?

• What additional resources do we need, and where will we find them?

The result is doable ministry that will make an immediate impact. A side benefit is that a congregation is not forever wedded to these projects, so there’s more willingness to try something new. And the overall impetus is entirely different from a strategic plan. Rather than a church creating a scratch blueprint out of its desires and hopes, it is taking an in-depth look at its neighborhood and adding its energy and assets to places where God is already at work.

Conflicts often go from a simmer to a roiling boil when a person or group feels powerless to affect the narrative. Maybe there’s a quiet person who needs extra time to process or doesn’t like to interrupt. Or someone on the fringes who feels self-conscious putting forth a minority viewpoint. While it seems simpler in the short run to let the loudest voices propel a cause, those who feel ostracized may leave the conversation altogether or nurse resentment that later manifests in destructive ways.

Power sharing is one answer to this imbalance. Recently one of my coachees introduced me to the concept of mutual invitation as outlined by Eric H. F. Law. In this process the leader gives personal perspective on the issue at hand, then invites someone else by name to do the same. That person can speak, pass for the time being, or pass altogether, then invites the next person to share. These steps repeat until everyone in the room gets two choices: whether to speak, and whom to invite to speak next.

Mutual invitation could be a very useful tool for potentially divisive conversations. Each person has the chance to contribute uninterrupted, and no one can later claim not to have been given a forum. And since people invite one another to speak by name, everyone has not just a listened-to voice but also an acknowledged identity in the process. Mutual invitation would work well with a leadership team or other small gathering. In larger groups, it could be employed in table discussions, with findings then reported to the whole body.

I am a big believer in frugality – spend wisely, save aggressively. I get some of my money tips from The Simple Dollar, and recently there was a post outlining “Ten Steps for Protecting Yourself Against an Unexpected Job Loss.” The article could just as easily been called “How to Make Yourself Marketable,” because it gives some good readiness tips for making a vocational move. All the suggestions were helpful, and I’ve pulled out a few of them and tailored them to ministry:

Network. Network. Network. Networking is about swapping wisdom and support with colleagues of all stripes and figuring out how you can partner to do some good. Happy by-products of networking are increased name recognition and early tips about opportunities.

Take advantage of continuing education. Does your setting pay for you to go to trainings, conferences, or denominational meetings? Go! Your participation benefits the people you currently serve and expands your network and skill set for when you’re ready to make a move.

Keep track of your tasks and accomplishments. Maintain a running list of special projects (and outcomes) and consider how those experiences have provided transferable tools and increased confidence. That list may be helpful in your current position too if you’re looking for a reminder of what works or if questions come up about your job performance.

Be a team player. We are all more likely to thrive when we are invested in rather than competing against each other. Resisting the temptation to bad-mouth takes grace and self-assuredness, but it creates a more productive work environment and a community of colleagues invested in one another’s current and future growth. (Some of those colleagues might even make good references!)

Certainly we are called to “bloom where we’re planted.” But the time will come when we will be transplanted, and finding the most flourish-friendly environment will depend on our commitment to augmenting skills and relationships.