I am an unabashed fan of tv. I relish the evenings when my husband and I can veg in front of our big (medium?) screen, using our favorite shows as springboards for conversation about the events of the day, politics, or vacation plans

That said, I don’t deal well with series finales. I get attached to characters and to the routine of checking in with them weekly. My chest tightens a little at the thought of only being able to visit them in syndication, a time warp where no new plot lines unfold. Last week’s Parks and Recreation swan song was about as good as a finale gets, though. It gave viewers a heartwarming glimpse into the futures of the characters. Each of the flash forwards reunited the Parks Department team and showed them supporting one another through successes, challenges, and milestones, even though many of them had moved on not just from city government but also from Pawnee.

Who wouldn’t want friends like that? Friends who fly in to share the big moments, who work to maintain a bond that was once a matter of proximity but now takes great effort, who love and deeply respect us in spite of – or sometimes because of – significant differences? In clergydom, however, such friends are hard to find if you don’t already have them from your pre-ministry years. And once you’re living the ever on-call life, it’s tough to tend the friendships you do have. (Believe me, I know.

Soul friendships can’t be forced, of course. But I wonder if coaching can pose awareness-raising questions and offer accountability to people who are looking for life-giving relationships that don’t depend on a mutual love for all things clerical. What makes a true friend? Where might you meet someone who fits the bill? When will you go there? How will you initiate a relationship? How will you know if this is a friendship worth pursuing? How will you cultivate the bond?

It’s hard to step out and make a new friend. But ministry is too hard a road to travel alone.

Lent is the season for spiritual spring cleaning. As we journey to the foot of the cross, we shed (with God’s help) the things that keep us from being closer to God and to one another. On Easter we celebrate the redemption of our lives together in Christ.

It is important to engage in spiritual disciplines that help us acknowledge and remove barriers to bonds on a personal level. But I think it’s just as critical to discern relationship distractions and oversights on a communal level. Where do we particularly need help as a church so that we can fully join with other parts of Christ’s body in carrying out God’s call? This calendar contains a season full of prayer prompts to orient congregations toward renewed cohesiveness, health, and missional focus. A grayscale PDF is available here.

As a brainy, uncoordinated child I had little use for sports. In the sixth grade, though, my best friend introduced me to basketball, and it was love at first bounce. I played a year of rec ball, during which I had to shoot my free throws granny-style because my spindly arms weren’t used to such physical exertion. I played two years on my school team, improving my shooting and becoming a tenacious defender. I was an anxious ball-handler, though, and ball management is a big part of the job description when you’re 4’10.” I decided I was a better student of the game than player, and I spent my high school years keeping statistics for the team and filing the occasional scouting report about an upcoming opponent. I loved every moment in that role, and I set my sights on becoming a basketball coach. I read basketball theory and biographies of great coaches and used all of my tv time during the season to break down games. When I graduated from high school, my coach gave me the whiteboard he used to diagram plays for the team and his well wishes for my coaching journey.

Needless to say, this coaching journey took a turn. God got tired of whispering in my ear about a call to ministry and started yelling and banging pots and pans. I stored the whiteboard in the attic and turned my attention to scripture, history, polity, classical languages, and psychology. I went to seminary. I began ministering in congregations, hospitals, and domestic violence shelters. I was never sorry that Pat Summitt didn’t have to watch over her shoulder for me. But in 2010 I was introduced to the concept of ministry coaching and contracted with a seasoned minister who asked questions that brought out the best in me. I was soon more effective, more joyful, more confident as a minister. And when I was offered the opportunity to become a coach myself, I jumped at it.

Ministry coaching isn’t quite like basketball coaching. I do much more listening and asking than yelling and telling. But I love every moment in this role too, and it is a privilege to walk alongside coachees as they build on their fundamentals and discover their own tenacity.